The Case for Healthy Denial


Corner of Retirement and GolfMy friends are reaching birthday numbers they thought they’d never have to cope with, taking up Causes or Yoga, planning retirement, talking about their portfolios, their golf game and their cholesterol.  They’re also burying their parents, becoming rich and Republican, having grandchildren and heart attacks – and oddest of all, they’re calling themselves Seniors.

How weird is that? Why would you label yourself something that nobody wants to be? Continue reading “The Case for Healthy Denial” »

Posted on November 30th 2012 in Life, Women


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HairdresserI recently spent a hilarious afternoon at the hairdresser, as all the women there and the witty, astute owner of the place, shared our strategies for never really seeing ourselves in the mirror again… except, of course, when we’re at the hairdresser and look our absolute best.  We each had our own mid-life mirror-avoidance technique – a skill that apparently surfaces on auto-pilot between age 50 and 60, and either sends you to “have work done” or makes you laugh at yourself, and set about appreciating the self-protective merits of healthy denial.

Why didn’t anybody tell us we’d still feel 35, even after we pass 60?  How come our insides and our outsides don’t match any more, so when we pass a shop window and catch an inadvertent glimpse of ourselves, our first thought is OMG who is that stranger wearing my clothes?  Continue reading “Reflections” »

Posted on November 30th 2012 in Life, Women

The Energy of Creativity


DrawingAmong the many reasons I’ve breathed a sigh of relief about the results of the Presidential Election is that I no longer feel the Arts are in immediate danger of being de-funded.  They only get a pittance compared to other budget items that could be cut, but somehow they landed in the political crosshairs.

So I ask you this: can you even imagine a world in which we have only Hedge Fund Managers, Wall Street Bankers and engineers to keep us company?   Imagine how our hearts, minds and inspiration would be strangled by the absence of art, music, books, theatre and all the other art forms we’ve recently been told aren’t worth being supported by a society that has no problem supporting wars. Continue reading “The Energy of Creativity” »

Posted on November 24th 2012 in Life, Metaphysics, Politics

The View After the Election


American Flag and Declaration of IndependenceThe storms and blackouts of the past two weeks kept me from posting this blog before the election as I had intended.  I wrote it because the paradigm of the 99% vs. the 1% that we’d evolved into as a nation reminded me how good life had been when the percentages were more equitable.  And I wanted to raise a voice in support of Democracy, not the Oligarchy that threatened us.  Judging by the results of the election, Democracy won this round.  The people weren’t silenced and the election couldn’t be bought by the super-rich, no matter how hard they exercised their checkbooks.  What a pity they didn’t give those hundreds of millions that flowed so readily, to the  staggering number of unemployed  Americans. Continue reading “The View After the Election” »

Posted on November 17th 2012 in Life, Politics

Time is the Substance From Which I Am Made…


“Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.”

—Cora Harvey Armstrong

“You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen.  But if you are beautiful at sixty, it will be your soul’s own doing.”

—Marie Stopes

The arrival of a brand New Year (always a treat to be able to begin again, isn’t it?), plus a cockeyed economy, and an article in a scientific journal that suggests we may all now live to 120, have prompted me to think more than I usually do about this strange business of growing older.  (Something I try to avoid altogether, ever since my accumulating birthdays seem to be adding up to alarming new numbers!)  

Continue reading “Time is the Substance From Which I Am Made…” »

Posted on December 29th 2011 in Life, Loving Life

The Heart That Once Truly Loves Never Forgets

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When my daughter died, I couldn’t find the strength to say the words aloud.  Passed away, I could manage, as if she still hovered somewhere just outside my reach.  Died was final and irrevocable and I simply could not say the word.

The first few weeks after her death were a haze of grief.  A time of pain so deep it blotted out light.  When I roused from this torpor of sorrow — through no effort of my own, mind you, but because the human spirit seeks survival against all odds and assaults – I found myself not quite alive, but in a period of sleepwalking. Continue reading “The Heart That Once Truly Loves Never Forgets” »

Posted on April 10th 2011 in Death, Faith, Life, Sorrow

Some Things You Never Forget


Some things you never forget.  Like the comfort of your father’s hand in yours when you’re small and afraid, or the final ember of light in the eyes of your dying child.

Other threads are inextricably woven into the softer fabric of soul. The sensuous, cold satin of summer’s first ice cream on your five year old tongue… the careless rapture of life before cognizance of consequences tempers immortality.  The first triumph that defines your path.  The first loss that staggers you into the inexorable realization of death.

Continue reading “Some Things You Never Forget” »

Posted on December 4th 2010 in Life, Sorrow, Women

Life… So far to go in a strange neighborhood

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Here I sit, teacup in hand, much of the way through a life that was totally unlike my perfectly sensible expectations, hoping to write about what I’ve learned that might be valuable.

I think I should tell you right off the bat that I’ve had an incident-prone life.  Events find me, sometimes ravage me, eventually, if I’m lucky, they alter me in some mysterious way that nudges me up the next mountain.  These incidents are always a surprise, my life never anything like my plans.  Man plans God laughs, a friend once told me.  God must love me for the number of chuckles I’ve inadvertently provided.

Continue reading “Life… So far to go in a strange neighborhood” »

Posted on December 4th 2010 in Life

7 Steps to Perfect Happiness? I Don’t Think So…

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I’m fascinated by the recent proliferation of books that tell you how easy life should be.  All it takes is The Secret 7 Steps to Success, or 12 Steps to Something or Other. We can cure all illness with the proper mindset, we can get rich with affirmations.  Joy is our birthright and all we have to do is acknowledge that fact to achieve it.

Continue reading “7 Steps to Perfect Happiness? I Don’t Think So…” »

Posted on December 4th 2010 in Life, The Philosopher’s Teacup
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